May 2014

Well here’s a place I never thought I would be again: 203.8 pounds. I spent most of my teen and adult life being overweight. Then at age 27, I decided to make a change. I started eating healthy and exercising, and I lost weight. Over the next 10 years, my weight went up and down, but never reached what it had been. I was around 145 at my lowest and 180 at my heaviest. Then I had a baby and pretty much put all the weight back on. In the year since Andrew was born, I’ve lost about 10 pounds.

Andrew

As I think about the last year, my biggest problems have been my crazy busy schedule, my lack of motivation, and my love of sweets. I’ve considered giving up sweets but have hesitated because of the stress relief they provide. I’ve also read many articles about how bad sugar is for you and the effects it has on the body. So I started thinking: is sugar really what’s making me fat? And I decided to do an experiment. For the rest of August, I will give up sugar and see what happens. I won’t change anything else about my diet, just give up sugar and see what happens.

What’s out: all desserts, non-diet soda, chocolate in any form.

What’s ok but I will try to limit: anything with artificial sweeteners.

What’s definitely OK: all fruit, diet soda. As I told my husband, I can’t tackle my sugar and caffeine addiction in the same month.

During the month, I will blog everyday about my progress, about how I feel, or about anything else related to my experiment.

Day 1 – Sunday, August 3

I didn’t think today would be too hard. After all, the first day is always the easiest because you’re super motivated, right? Not exactly. As usually happens, afternoon was the hardest. I think that’s the time of day when my body feels like it needs a little pick me up and I head to the kitchen for a treat. I spent the afternoon at my sister’s, where I was offered Red Vines, Whoppers, and chocolate cake. But I held firm. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t have any but it was hard. I suppose I should get on Pintrest and find all those pins about what to substitute for sugar cravings.

I also weighed myself this morning and was surprised to discover that I’ve maintained my weight from when my husband and I did the South Beach diet a few months ago. I was sure I’d put back on the 10 pounds I’d lost. I guess it just goes to show that I can’t trust what my eyes see about my body weight. I think I will probably always view myself as fat no matter how much I weigh. That’s a sad thought. But since I was probably 13, everyone has been telling me that I’m fat, including myself. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to view myself as a healthy weight. Even when I was in the 150’s and smaller than I’d ever been in my adult life, I always thought I needed to lose more. I suppose I could blame society for telling me that I’ll never be skinny enough, but I suppose I carry the bigger fault for believing it. I suppose it’s time to stop it.